I usually don't use this blog as a board for emptying my personal complaints and negative emotions but today is an exception. Has it ever happened to you that you decide to go out to feel better but you come back home worse because of the things happening to you outside home? Today is definitely like that for me. And it's not like I got stuck in heavy traffic or my food got ready late in the restaurant or the ATM I wanted to take money didn't work. It was worse than these.
I've been disrespected only because I'm a foreigner and I'm a woman. And no, no one shouted to me "you disgusting broad" or "you white jerk" or "you Iranian bitch". It's wasn't a verbal rudeness - it was in action and I can simply understand where it comes from I'm a female foreigner here and I attract attention so some people would like to have fun by annoying a person like me- and it's not my first time.
First I came out of my apartment door and there were these two kids coming out of their apartment opposite us with their football. One of them was staring at me rudely with a wide grin and when I was passing to go to the elevator he shoot his ball in my direction which I had already passed and was in front of the elevator door but I knew he shoot the ball in my direction and I heard his laughter with his friend. I got annoyed. In better words very angry. Being disrespected by a kid this age is not what I really expect and tolerate. I could hear their laughter but I turned to the stairs and started to go down . I usually don't use the elevator as I prefer stairs. I was angry. How dare this little kid of no age could behave like this?
I was so mad when I reached the last steps and went out of the building I was expecting to see them and if this time misbehaving to teach him a lesson how to behave in front of a person older than him and how to respect women from young age instead of shooting his ball in their directions just to laugh with his friend. Rude kid. The annoying effect of this incident was with me all way to the chainstore and I had a frown on my face and was walking forcefully with heavy steps thumping on the pavement.
Then in the chainstore I started to feel better especially when I found my favourite box of tea with a really amazing reasonable price while I expected it to be 10 times more expensive than I had guessed. My shopping was about to finish when I felt three men passing me and I could sense they're looking at me more than usual but I didn't care and looked at the bread. When I was passing I saw they stood somewhere else still looking at me. This time I looked and saw it's one of my classmates, a Pakistani man with his two Indian housemates. I just looked for a second as I was walking and didn't find time to say hello to him but the way these three men standing there looking at me like there's nothing else for look at in the chainstore was uncomfortable.I ignored them and finished my shopping and went out.
OK these two things is not as annoying as this one I'm going to say and it's not my first time this happening to me:
on my way out of the parking lot I saw a mini-van coming this way I'm passing - it had enough distance from me and was moving slowly so I estimated I have enough time to pass the narrow way when I suddenly saw the van right in front of me and I quickly moved back so it doesn't hit me. The Malay (or Indian) driver was saying something obviously to me which my brain didn't have enough time to hear but I could visibly see he deliberately accelerated even though he saw I was not looking at the car as I didn't expect it to reach me this soon. I felt horrible. This person was speeding up deliberately and about to hit me only for fun eventhough they saw I'm not looking at the car. I could simply be hit and end up in hospital. I was so surprised I even couldn't open my mouth and say something. And I knew by shouting angry words they would enjoy it to be successful to annoy me and seeing a reaction out of me. Me being a female foreigner is the good object of this fun. Let's speed up at a foreigner white girl passing the street without looking our way to see what will happen HAHAHAHA.
This is not the first time this happening to me.
One rainy night I was passing the street exactly near this same place when a Malay motorist far from me suddenly accelerated and came like a bullet to me to frighten me and when I took a step back so the motorcycle doesn't hit me I saw the motorist looking in the mirror to see my reaction and see if he was successful to frighten me or no.
How do you feel if this happened to you? I feel the same.
I feel a bad deep anger inside me which I can't simply go and I feel a bad hatred for this country and the way some people treat foreigners and especially women.
Before all those skyscrapers and towers and huge shopping malls and tourist attraction sites something more important should be built that without it all those stuff are worthless: RESPECT, SAFETY and CULTURE.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
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